The visible face of BDSM seems to reinforce and eroticize harmful power relationships. But our lived reality is the actual opposite: we expose and dismantle these power relationships and rebuild them fully consensual, negotiated terms.Read More
A list of thoughts that come to me because I am sober now.Read More
BDSM has its critics, and they have convincing arguments. However, most of them do not hold up to the lived experience and scientific evidence about kinksters. Here, I begin the development of a positive theory of BDSM.Read More
Marriage is fine if you want to enter into it, but it should not be recognized by the state nor serve as a method to access unfair benefits. Also, it’s really not fair for non-hetero, non-cis, non-monogamous people.Read More
In this post, I take a look at men’s sexuality, prompted by reading a book by a well-known sex writer and therapist. Are men being feminized, or are we misunderstanding the nature of the repressive discourse around men’s sexuality?Read More
Oral sex? Non merci. It’s not my thing, and I’m tired of being told I’m broken because of it.Read More
When your disability is invisible and intermittent, it can be hard to even acknowledge its role in your life. But doing so changed my life by letting me rest and shift my priorities towards self-care rather than trying to meet an unachievable ideal.Read More
Hi! I'm Ani: a kinky feminist, chronic oversharer, essayist and eternal student.
I believe that telling our stories is a powerful act that lets us connect to each other.
These are my stories about relationships, sex, kink, psychology, life... pretty much everything.
Thoughts? Feelings? Words to tell me?Send me an email