Sex toys abound in the sex blogging world, but I don’t really care for them. Why? Maybe it’s because I’m a minimalist at heart.
For a sex blogger, I’m pretty simple when it comes to sex toys. Other bloggers have enormous collections, built over years of sex toy reviews. My Twitter feed is full of dildo pictures and people raving about this or that specific shape, color, style. My Sex Blogger RSS category has at least 2 or 3 sex toy reviews to read through every day. For example, this elaborate dragon-themed dildo review by Leila Loren is typical. It’s a beautiful object, but I’m not sure I would want it in my vagina!
Here’s the extent of my sex toy collection (excluding kink gear):
- An old Hitachi wand, not even the cordless kind
- One glass dildo
- Two or three butt plugs
I’ve written before about how I’m not super big on dildos. Maybe I just buy the wrong ones, am not lubricated enough when I use them. I guess when I pleasure myself I am just focused on getting an orgasm.
I’m not averse to vaginal pleasure: when E. penetrates me at just the right angle it can actually be quite amazing. But I am somehow incapable of reproducing that sensation by myself, which makes me wonder if I am just not using the right toys, or the right approach.
But then, not having a literal suitcase of dildos and vibrators is kind of nice. I don’t have to agonize, every time I masturbate, about which one I will use. And in the end, I’m sure most of us end up turning to our old, trusty favourites most of the time. For me, that’s always been my Hitachi; “the best $100 I ever spent” is how I characterize it to people asking me about which vibrator I prefer.
The more I consider what I really need in my life, the more I lean towards minimalist simplicity. A one-bedroom apartment. If I ever buy real estate it will be a one-bedroom (or two bedroom at the most) condo. I like Japanese-inspired design. My clothing is clean, simple, with a little print but mostly just color variety. I don’t like ornery, overly decorated things. I like simple nigiri or one-fish maki at the sushi restaurant. I have a few pairs of black and neutral shoes. Even though I am polyamorous, I only have a single partner, E., because the idea of finding and developing a relationship with another one just seems… so… tedious and complicated.
The only things I have more than I can handle are, basically, books.
And I have one, single, effective vibrator that serves all my orgasm needs.
It’s interesting to see how my sex purchases reflect other areas in my life. I’ve never been big on collecting anything. I prefer collecting experiences, accumulating memories, hoarding knowledge. My kink activities with E. are varied and amazing, and they require little artifice. Just him and me, a little rope and some impact implements, (check out this leather jack review by Aria Vega… I think I need to tell E. about those) and I fly to the moon. Even in my most elaborate fantasies, the equipment is simple; it’s more about the connection with other people, how they look at me, how they talk to me, how they react to me and how I react to them.
Maybe I don’t have a big sex toy collection because they don’t give me what I want the most: connection with other people. Sex toys can bring variety and spice, but they cannot replace the essential connection between human beings that partnered sex brings.